Wherever You Wear Your Heart
by 1357wombat
Summary: Just a little fic following Sam and Tom through their relationship. Probably lots of fluff, because that's what I like to read, and I can't pretend to know any medical terms or anything like that.
1. Chapter 1

"Are you going to eat that, Sam?" Tom asked her, nodding pointedly at the plate of food in front of her. "Sam?"  
"What?" she looked up, surprised, as if she hadn't noticed Tom sitting opposite her.  
"Well you've just been staring at your food for about five minutes. Is there something wrong?  
"No," she said, far too quickly, he noticed.  
"Come on, you know you can tell me,"  
"Look, there's nothing wrong, just leave it, will you!" she snapped, and began to eat her food. Tom looked hurt, but he knew there was no way he could get it out of her. In the two months they'd been living together, they had managed to avoid any more major fights, and he didn't want to start one tonight; she would tell him in her own time.

Later that evening they were lying on the sofa together, Sam curled in Tom's arms, their earlier exchange forgotten, when Tom realised that she wasn't actually watching the film they had just switched on. Instead she appeared to be fixed on her hands in his. He didn't want to upset her again, but he could sense she didn't really want to watch the TV.  
"Do you want to go up to bed?" he asked, kissing her neck and squeezing her hand gently.  
"Mmm," she mumbled, looking up at him, a small smile lifting the corners of her mouth, the first time he'd seen her smile all evening. She stood up slowly, pulling him with her, keeping hold of his hands all the way to their bedroom.

"I'm going for a shower," Sam said, pulling away from him. She entered the bathroom, undressing and stepping into the steamy warmth quickly. She didn't want to think about anything tonight, just wanted to go to bed, and never have to get up again. She didn't know what Tom would think. Tom. She swallowed hard and shut off the water. No she told herself, she didn't have to tell him tonight. She dried herself and slipped an old t-shirt of Tom's over her head. Taking a deep breath, she left the bathroom. The main lights were off in their bedroom, with only the bedside lamp glowing dimly. Tom was reading, waiting for her. She climbed into bed next to him, wrapping her arms around his waist.  
"Ooh you're cold!" he exclaimed, pulling her closer to him and she pressed her body against his. He kissed her forehead, then pulled back. "Okay, don't go all grumpy on me, but are you sure you're alright?"  
"Yes," she whispered.  
"Sam, you've been quiet all evening, you barely ate anything, and you seem so upset. This isn't like you. You know that you can tell me. I'm not going to hate you, or laugh at you, or do anything that you don't want me to, so please tell me, I want to help you, I hate seeing you like this."  
Furiously blinking back tears she muttered, "I'm fine. Just tired," but it was too late. A tear had escaped from her eye, but before it had a chance to roll down her face, Tom wiped it away.  
"Sam, you don't cry over nothing, please tell me what's wrong. I know you don't believe me, but I can help. So, go on, what's wrong?"  
"I- it's just- I'm, I mean, I think I might be pregnant," she whispered, looking down, avoiding his gaze.  
"Oh Sam. Why are you crying about it?" he brushed away the tears that were falling fast now.  
"I don't know!" she choked out  
"Well there must be something that's got you so upset. Come on, what is it?"  
"I just don't think I could do it," she finally admitted. "I'm not exactly the maternal type. I would just mess it all up!"  
Tom sighed. "Well I know that's not true. You'd be brilliant! Anyway, why do you think you're pregnant?"  
Sam hesitated, knowing he would want to know why she hadn't said anything. "I've been sick three times this week, and I've missed two periods," she blurted out quickly, hoping he wouldn't hear.  
But no such luck. "Sam! Why didn't you say something?" At least he didn't sound angry, mainly concerned.  
She looked up at him at last. "Because I knew you'd get all protective and not let me do anything. I thought I was just ill."  
"You still should have told me. It might be serious! You can't just ignore it, no matter how strong you think you are. If you're sick tonight, wake me up."  
"No, Tom, it'll be about three in the morning. I'm not waking you up just for that; I can manage."  
"If you don't, I'll wake myself up. You shouldn't have to do it by yourself."  
Sam groaned. "Fine, I'll wake you up tonight, but not again."  
"Deal. And tomorrow, you could have a scan at work, to see whether or not you are pregnant?"  
She yawned. "Mmm," she said sleepily.  
He chuckled. "But for now, sleep, silly girl."  
He kissed her forehead again, then reached over to turn out the lamp.

Tom was woken by a hand hitting his chest. He sat up in time to see Sam disappear through the lit bathroom doorway. He hurried after her, stumbling in his haste and tiredness. When he reached Sam, he knelt down on the cold floor beside her as she retched. He rubbed her back, and when she had finished, handed her a glass of water.  
"Well, that was worth you waking up at this time, wasn't it?" Sam said sarcastically as she leant against the wall.  
"Sam," Tom said shortly. She knew what he meant.  
"Sorry, I'm just tired. Sorry you had to miss a good night's sleep to see that."  
"It was good to be there for you actually. I can't believe you'd want to go through that alone. Actually, I can; I know you."  
She smiled sheepishly, pulled her fingers through her hair and said, "Come on, lets go back to bed." Sam pushed him playfully through the door and they both fell into bed. As they pulled the duvet up, Tom kissed her.  
"Tom?" Sam nudged him gently, but didn't wait for a response. "You won't be disappointed if I'm not, you know, pregnant, will you?" she whispered tentatively. He didn't reply. She looked over and saw that he was already asleep. She sighed, turned over, and closed her eyes.


	2. Chapter Two - 141013

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed and/or read the last chapter! I'm pretty new to this so I forgot an author's note last time, but I think I've worked it out now. Hope you enjoy this! :)**

* * *

"Mmm, that's nice," Tom smiled lazily and rolled over to find Sam kissing him up and down his neck and shoulder. "Morning, Beautiful. Feeling better now?"  
Sam nodded, looking mildly embarrassed about the last night. He pulled her towards him in for a kiss on the lips, but she slipped out of his light grip, sliding out of bed as she did so.  
Sam laughed briefly. "We've got to get ready for work," she reminded him, heading for the stairs.  
He smirked, calling after her, "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were excited for something Dr Nicholls!" Tom pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and then followed her downstairs.

In the kitchen, Sam handed Tom the mug of coffee she had just made, then left the room quickly, hoping he would not see the piece of toast she was eating. Tom raised his eyebrows. "Are you eating Marmite, Sam?"  
She poked her head slowly back through the door.  
"Um, yeah. So?" she replied, trying to act indifferently.  
"I thought you hated Marmite?" he said quizzically. Then he grinned. "Is this your first craving, Sam?" he teased.  
"Shut up!" she tried to hide her expression by turning around and leaving, but Tom caught the smile in her voice.

* * *

As they approached the main doors of the ED, Tom plucked up the courage to ask Sam, "So, what do you want to do? I mean, do you want a scan, or an hCG test?"  
"I don't know, Tom!" Sam's earlier enthusiasm had disappeared; they were late, and she didn't want to think about this now. "Okay, let's just wait until it's slightly quiet and do a quick scan," she hesitated. "Will you do it?"  
Tom laughed. "Of course I will!" he said. They had reached the staff room, so they put their things away, got changed and hurried out to the nurses' station.

"Ah, Tom, Sam, there you are." Zoe looked like she hadn't stopped moving for a week, but she paused her manic shuffling of paperwork to brief them. "Tom, there's a child coming in from an RTC, unknown injuries, so I need you in resus with me, then I want you in cubicles with Sam. Right, everybody, let's go." Zoe called. Tom winked at Sam and moved off in the direction of the front doors.

One hour later, Sam was bored and infuriated. She had spent all morning treating a hypochondriac who was unwilling to be treated because he didn't believe women could be doctors. She had eventually had to fetch Ash, who told the man there was nothing wrong with him except an unhealthy case of male chauvinism, which was exactly what Sam had been frustratedly trying to tell him the whole time. Luckily, at that moment, Tom put in an appearance and found Sam fuming in the staff room.  
"Some people!" she exclaimed, having told Tom what had happened, "He wouldn't even let me treat him, and then he made me look totally incompetent in front of Ash."  
"Calm down, Sam. He's gone now."  
"I know, I know, but... Oh never mind, I'm just to forget about it."  
"Good." Tom smiled. "Hey how about that scan? It's not that busy for once."  
"Shhh, keep your voice down!"  
"Sam there's no one else here," he gestured to the empty staff room.  
"Okay," she took a deep breath, "Let's get it over with."  
"I'll get the FAST scanner. I think cubicles four is empty." Tom left, and Sam headed towards cubicles, checking no one was looking before slipping inside the vacant cubicle. Tom joined her seconds later, clutching the scanner.  
"Right, let's do this quickly then, I'm not supposed to be on a break.

At the nurses' station, Zoe was looking for Tom.  
"Robyn, have you seen Tom anywhere?" asked Zoe.  
"I last saw him go into cubicles four, I think."  
"Right. Thanks," Zoe said, looking at the board puzzled; cubicles four was supposed to be empty. She decided to investigate.  
"Tom?" she called, pulling open the curtain slightly. Then she saw Sam lying on the bed and Tom spreading the clear gel on her stomach. They looked up at the sam time.  
"Oh," Zoe said softly. "I'll just, um, leave you to it. I want you out in ten minutes." She turned to leave.  
"Zoe," Sam said, surprising herself. "You can stay."

Just then, a picture of Sam's womb appeared with a small, bean-shaped object in the corner of the screen, and a heartbeat, as fast as the wings of a hummingbird, could be heard. Tom grinned. Even Sam's face broke out in a smile - she was pregnant! Zoe looked at the scanner.  
"Right, it looks as though you're about eight weeks along. Congratulations!" she smiled, and moved the probe that Tom had passed to her around Sam's stomach. "Hmm," she pointed to the bottom of the screen, "This looks like a low lying placenta," Sam's face fell, she nodded, unable to speak. "I'll get you an appointment with the obstetrician, but I wouldn't worry too much, Sam, you know how these things work. Okay, I'll give you a few minutes alone, but I really can't spare you for any longer than that."  
"Thanks Zoe," Tom said as she left. He turned to Sam and squeezed her hand. "It'll be fine, I know it will," he reassured her.  
Sam swallowed the lump in her throat. "I know, but I can't help worrying. I take it you want this baby then?"  
Tom beamed, "Of course I do. But I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to," he said, serious now, "Do you want to keep it?"  
"I know I didn't sound too keen last night, but I've spent all of this morning thinking about it, and I think I'm ready for this, it is something I want. But Tom, I cannot do it without you, so don't you dare leave me, because if walk out, I swear I'll make sure you never walk anywhere again."  
Tom laughed. He bent down to kiss her.  
"I'm not going anywhere," he murmured against her lips.


	3. Chapter Three - Eight Weeks

**Sorry, this has been a while, it's a pretty boring chapter, but I'll have the next one up ASAP to make up for it. Thanks to everyone who reviewed my last chapter, and please review this one too, let me know if you have any suggestions, criticisms, etc. :)**

* * *

Zoe had managed to pull some strings and get Sam an appointment with the obstetrician for the next morning. She had also given them the day off work:

"I really shouldn't, but for some reason, I think you deserve it. Just don't tell anyone. And next time you do something like this, please just tell me. Good luck at the scan," she had said, not angrily.

So the following day, Sam and Tom set off for the hospital. They drove in silence. Although it was unlike her, Tom knew that Sam was worrying, but every time he had tried to broach the subject, she had snapped at him, so he had given up.

When they arrived at the hospital, Tom got out and walked round to open Sam's door, but she was already out, marching towards the hospital and not waiting for him. When they reached the doors, Sam hesitated, and Tom realised she was more nervous than she looked. He took her hand and squeezed it. She still didn't look at him, but she pulled him over to the reception desk where they asked where they should go; this was not a part of the hospital either of them were particularly familiar with.

Being a Tuesday morning, it wasn't hugely busy in the obstetrics ward, so Sam's name was called soon after they arrived. They were led to a small, bright room where a woman introduced herself.  
"I'm Dr Grant," she smiled. She was middle aged and had a friendly face.  
"Sam."  
"And I'm Tom." They shook her hand in turn.  
"So you know that you're pregnant, yes?" Sam nodded. "Let's do the ultrasound first, and then there's just a few checks we need to do. Can you hop up onto the bed and roll your top up? I guess you know the drill - this will be cold." As gel was squeezed onto Sam's stomach for the second time that week, she looked up at Tom. He grinned back and kissed her hand. She was reassured, and relaxed slightly. The picture on the screen looked the same as it had yesterday.  
"It looks like you're about eight weeks pregnant, maybe just over. Do you know your due date?" The doctor said.  
"We think it's around May the fourteenth," Tom spoke this time.  
Dr Grant nodded. "That seems about right," she said. "Now, Dr Hanna rang me and said there might be a low-lying placenta. If you look on the screen, you can see your placenta _is_ low lying, it has formed over your cervix. At this stage, it's nothing to worry about; as your womb expands, the placenta is more than likely to have moved upwards by the time you have your second scan."  
"What if it hasn't?" Sam asked immediately.  
"If it hasn't, you'll be offered another scan at around thirty-two weeks, and if it still hasn't then, you'll need to have a Caesarean section, but there shouldn't be any health risks for you or the baby."  
Sam was relieved at this, and the doctor continued. "Are there any other questions?" They both shook their heads. "Right, well there're just a few checks I need to do. Would you like a picture of the scan?"  
"Yes, please," Sam replied.  
Dr Grant pressed a few buttons, and said, "You can pick that up on your way out." She smiled, and showed Sam over to a set of scales on the far side of the room. As she weighed and measure her, she asked "How have you been feeling, Sam?"  
"Pretty normal, a bit tired, but that's because I've been up at three every morning with morning sickness," she grimaced.  
"Okay, I just need to take some bloods, to check your blood group and to see whether your rhesus negative or positive,"  
"Oh, actually, I already know my blood group, and I know that I'm rhesus positive,"  
"What about your partner?"  
"I'm rhesus positive too," Tom said.  
"Brilliant, nothing to worry about then, I just need to check your blood pressure, and then I'm going to have to get a urine sample."  
When the doctor had taken her blood pressure, Sam left the room to go to the toilet.  
"How long have you two known each other?" Dr Grant enquired. "Excuse my nosiness!" she added.  
"We've know each other for about two years, but we've only been dating for one," he replied, beaming as he talked about Sam.  
"If you don't mind my saying, you look really happy together."  
Tom smiled, a little bit embarrassed, and at that moment, Sam reentered the room. She handed the container to the doctor and sat down on the edge of the bed.  
Dr Grant began to test the sample. "I've just got some leaflets to give you, about the sorts of things you can and can't eat, and do, etcetera, although I'm sure you know most of it already. You should also contact your GP who can help you sort out things like antenatal classes," she informed them. "Right, that all looks fine. You're done here, unless you have any questions?"  
She gave them a pile of leaflets and then opened the door for them.  
"I'll see you in a few months then."  
"Thank you" Tom and Sam said as they shook her hand again and left the room.

Sam and Tom picked up the photo of the scan from the bored-looking nurse on reception.  
"Our tiny, perfect baby," Tom said as they left the hospital.  
Sam hit him. "Don't make me sick," she said, but she couldn't stop looking like she had just won the lottery.  
"You are happy though, aren't you?" Tom asked, worried. Then he caught sight of Sam's expression. "Right, definitely happy!" he exclaimed.  
"Of course I'm happy, you idiot," she paused. "I just hope it all goes okay. I really, really don't want to have to have a c-section."  
"Even if you do, you'll have a beautiful baby, and me," he grinned.  
"But what if the baby isn't alright?"  
Tom brought his lips to hers to silence her fears.  
"Sam, please don't worry about it, it _will _be fine. It's not like you to be this anxious. Is there anything else you're not telling me?"  
"No, no, it's fine, I just want this to be perfect." Tom looked sceptical. "I swear, I'm fine!"  
"Good. Let's go out for dinner tonight, to celebrate," Tom said suddenly.  
"Okay, sure. Where do you want to go?"  
"There's that nice restaurant just down the road from us. How about that?"  
Sam nodded. "So, what do you want to do until then? We have a whole afternoon."  
"I can think of one thing..." he winked seductively.  
"You reckon?" she raised an eyebrow. She pulled him in for another kiss, and then pushed him towards the car. "Come on, let's get home!"


	4. Chapter Four - Twelve Weeks

**Another boring chapter, I'm afraid, but hopefully it'll get more interesting soon. The amount of weeks pregnant Sam is will be in the chapter title from now on, just in case it isn't mentioned in the story. Sorry for the weird paragraphing, fanfiction is doing something funny... Please review, it will make me update sooner! :)**

* * *

"Urgghh!" Sam groaned as she tried to do up the third pair of trousers that morning.  
"Sam?" Tom called "What's wrong?" he asked, emerging from the bathroom with just a t-shirt on.  
"Nothing fits me anymore, I can't do up any of my trousers," she sighed.  
"Well that's normal, you are pregnant."  
"I know, but look, you can barely tell." Sam was right, from her normally flat stomach, only a small bulge had become visible in the past month.  
"Yeah but it (is) normal to gain weight. Maybe you'll have to go to work in your scrubs!" he chuckled.  
"Hmm, no. Thank God they still fit though, otherwise people would start to notice."  
"You're going to have to tell them at some point," he reminded her.  
"Can't we just wait until someone guesses?"  
"Well nobody's just going to ask you if you're pregnant, are they?"  
"I suppose. I'm not telling anyone yet though, just give it another month or so, until it's more obvious." She peeled the pair or trousers off and flung them on the bed. "It's no use! What am I going to wear?" she cried.  
"Do I sense the need for a shopping trip, Sam?"  
"Oh God, no, I hate shopping," she moaned.  
"I'll go for you if you want."  
"No. No way. You are not buying my clothes for me. I'll go on Saturday."  
"I'll come too, we can start getting some things for the baby."  
"Fine, but I need something to wear now.  
"You could wear a dress?" The look on Sam's face silenced Tom as she went to the wardrobe, and after rummaging about for a few seconds, pulled out another pair of black trousers.  
"I'll just have to squeeze into these. Come on, we're going to be late."  
"And whose fault is that?" quipped Tom under his breath.

* * *

"Sam, wake up. We're going shopping!" Tom shook her in mock excitement. Sam rolled over and put the pillow over her head.

"Get lost," grumbled a muffled voice from beneath it. He removed the pillow from her head, and leaned down to kiss the back of her hair.  
"I brought you coffee, and it's nearly ten o'clock, so I thought you would want to get up anyway."  
Sam turned to face him, her long hair partially covering her face.  
"Ten? How did I sleep that long?" she yawned.  
"Must have been tired after last night," he grinned.  
"Really? What happened last night?"  
Tom threw the pillow at her.  
"Come on, get up!"  
She sat up slowly, took the cup of coffee and smiled after him as he went to have a shower.

After they were ready, they headed off in Sam's car.  
"My parents phoned while you were asleep," Tom said after a few moments  
"Yeah?" Sam asked.  
"Yeah, they want to see us. They invited us round tonight."  
"We're not doing anything else tonight, are we?" Sam liked Tom's parents. "Why don't we have them round to ours? We can cook," she laughed.  
"Okay, I'll give them a ring."  
"You didn't tell them about this, did you?" she gestured to her belly.  
Tom rolled his eyes. "Of course not. Are you actually planning on telling them?" he asked, somewhat sarcastically.  
"I don't understand why you're in such a hurry to tell everyone," she remarked.  
"I don't understand why you don't want to tell anyone," he retorted.  
"I just don't, not yet, okay?" she said as they pulled up to the shopping centre. She silently begged him not to question her further, and to her relief he didn't push it.

When they got inside the huge building, Sam suggested, "Let's split up, we can get this done more quickly that way." She looked around her, shuddering.  
"But I don't know what to buy!" Tom protested.  
"Just get the basics, I'll come and find you soon - this won't take long," she said grimly, looking over her shoulder at him as she set off in the direction of the clothes shops.

* * *

"Do you think you've bought enough, Sam?" Tom said, eyeing the bags she was carrying when she approached him in the aisles of the baby shop he was browsing. "I don't plan on coming back again, so I bought stuff for later on in the pregnancy too," she explained. She had also managed to pick up a Christmas present for Tom, but he didn't need to know that. "Have you found anything yet?" she enquired.

He shook his head. "I didn't want to get anything without you seeing it, but there are some books and maybe some clothes I liked, but I thought we could get things on the Internet, and then you don't need to actually shop," he smiled, and she followed him to a shelf of books.  
"They all look the same, which ones?" he said helplessly. She picked up two books, one about pregnancy, and one about newborn babies.  
"They'll do," she said, pulling him further into the shop. She surveyed the racks of various baby products around them. "There's not really much point getting any of these things now, is there? I mean, we can order things like a pram and a cot online, and we won't need clothes or nappies for another six months. I think we should just leave this for now," she said, knowing this would mean another trip, but not wanting to hang around looking lost any longer. Tom agreed with her, so they paid for the books, and left the store.  
"If we're cooking tonight, we're going to need some food to cook with; I don't think we've got much at home," Tom pointed out suddenly. Sam sighed.  
"Just when I thought we had finished," she muttered.

* * *

Later that evening, after they had spent the afternoon cooking together, Tom was laying the table and Sam was hurriedly trying to find some presentable clothes to wear. Tom's parents were supposed to arrive at any minute. Just as Tom set the final glass on the table, he heard a car drive up.

"Sam, they're here," he called up the stairs to her, and then he went to get the door.

"Tom! It's lovely to see you!" Tom's mother pulled him in for a hug, and his father followed closely behind her. He shook his hand gruffly.  
"Hi Mum, Dad," Tom grinned. "Come on in." He led them to the kitchen, where Sam was waiting.  
"Hello Paul, hi Claire," she said shaking their hands. Right from the moment she had met them, she had always been comfortable around Tom's parents. Claire handed her a bottle of wine. She accepted it gratefully, and then asked if they wanted to eat now. When they seemed eager to, Tom sat them down at the table, and then helped Sam serve their food.

When they had finished eating, Sam cleared her throat, slightly awkwardly.  
"We, er, have something exciting to tell you," Tom spoke up.  
"We're having a baby," Sam said, all in one go. She waited nervously for their reaction.  
Tom's parents looked delighted.  
"Congratulations, you two! This is wonderful news," Claire smiled, almost ecstatic. "Our first grandchild," she said, dreamily.  
Sam beamed, flushed. Paul was looking slightly stunned, as if he had never expected anything like this to happen.  
"Yes, congratulations," he exclaimed.  
"I suppose you won't be needing that wine then. How many months pregnant are you?" Claire questioned.  
"I'm sure Tom will enjoy drinking it," Sam patted Tom's arm. "I'm three months," she added.  
Tom unwrapped his arm from around Sam's waist.  
"Who wants dessert?" he asked, looking pleased that they had taken the news so well.

After a night full of questions, talking and laughter, Tom and Sam finally waved goodbye to Tom's parents.  
Tom hugged Sam close to him.  
"What a night," she said. "Your mum won't tell anyone will she?"  
"I asked her not to. Anyway, it's not like she knows anyone we know,"  
"Good, but if I am suddenly flooded with congratulations cards somehow, she is dead!" Sam yawned.  
"You go up to bed, I'll finish clearing up here," he offered.  
Sam leaned up to kiss him.  
"Thanks," she said. "I don't know why I'm so tired today,"  
"Just think what it'll be like when the baby is here," Tom chuckled, as he steered her towards the stairs. "Goodnight." He kissed her again, and then headed to the kitchen.


	5. Chapter Five - Sixteen Weeks

**Thanks for all your reviews last chapter :D Thanks so much to rivernymph99, without whom this chapter would be utterly tedious. She is full of brilliant ideas, go and read her stories! Enjoy this one... Please leave a review :)**

"Are they kidding?" Sam exclaimed, holding up the Christmas card that had been slipped into her locker. "It's only the end of November!"  
"Are you a bit of a Scrooge, Sam?" Tom chuckled.  
"No! I just object to people celebrating Christmas before December."  
"Talking of Christmas, what do you want to do for it?" he asked.  
"We could see your parents?" Sam suggested.  
"No, they're going on some fancy cruise for most of the winter," he was about to ask her about her parents, but stopped himself, thinking it might upset her. He knew her father was dead, but she never spoke about her mother. "It's our first Christmas together, properly, I mean, I was thinking we could just have a quiet day together - neither of us are working. And haven't we got a scan due around then?"  
"Yep, I told you last week, I booked it for Christmas Eve," she grimaced. "I like the sound of that plan though." She pulled her scrubs on. "I think people are going to start noticing soon. If they haven't already," Sam joked, stretching her scrub top over her protruding stomach. She caught the look in Tom's eyes. "I know, I know, I'm going to tell everyone, today, I promise."  
"Are you going to tell me why you wanted to wait?"  
She shrugged. "It's just, you know, the first rule of pregnancy: you don't talk about the pregnancy. If everyone around here knows, they won't look at me the same way. You know what people are like."  
"There's more though, isn't there?" he guessed. "I know you, you don't worry about nothing," he explained, without her having to ask.  
Sam pressed the back of her head against her locker, and shut her eyes, avoiding his gaze. She was surprised at how easily he was able to get her thoughts out of her these days. Her voice became small. "I feel like it's just asking for something to go wrong. If less people know, there's less people to pity you if something does happen. And they get excited, and they make you excited, and it can all come crashing down so easily, it's just further to fall if other people raise your hopes."  
Tom approached her and took her hand. "Maybe people will talk," he said. "But they'll stop eventually. And nothing is going to go wrong." He put his lips to hers. "I don't believe in tempting fate." He pulled away, walking backwards through the door that led to the crazy ED, smiling at her, and she couldn't help but grin when he almost knocked over Big Mac.

"Okay, Noel, next patient please," Sam said. She placed a folder on the reception desk before accepting another pile of notes from Noel. Flicking through the papers, she was not listening as he called the name of the next patient. A small women approached her. Sam's stomach turned.  
"Mum?" she said.  
"Samantha? What are you doing here?"  
"I work here," Sam replied, slightly shocked. She shook herself mentally. She knew her mother was living in Holby, it was only going to be a matter of time before she bumped into her. She had been hoping it wouldn't be at work, in view of all her colleagues.  
"Did the army not work out then? Or did you see sense in the end, decide to do something worthwhile," her mother remarked snidely.  
Noel, who was still standing within earshot, butted in. "Er, Dr Nicholls, are you sure you're allowed to treat this women?" he said uneasily.  
Sam turned to face him and smiled her best sarcastic smile. "As much as I'd love to hand her over to someone else-" she made a show of looking around the reception area, "-there's nobody else around." She headed in the direction of cubicles, refusing to look at her mother.  
Noel nudged Louise. "What do you think's going on there?"  
Louise looked up. "I don't care Noel, it's her business," she said moodily.  
"Well, have you noticed how tight Dr Nicholls' scrubs have been looking lately?" Noel tried a different approach.  
"This is Sam we're talking about. If you think she's pregnant, I think you're barking up the wrong tree."  
"You want to bet on it?"  
"No. Stop gossiping and get back to work," Louise ordered.

"So, what happened?" Sam asked, feeling her mother's wrist.  
"I fell over," she replied.  
"I don't think it's broken," Sam said shortly.  
"Are you sure? Do you need a second opinion?" her mother sneered.  
Sam had to grit her teeth to stop herself from retorting. "I'm going to send you for an X-ray to make sure. A porter will be along in a few minutes to take you upstairs. Is there any pain?"  
"Only when you were touching it."  
"Did you hurt anywhere else when you fell?"  
"No."  
Sam nodded, spoke to the nurse who, obviously not wanting to intrude, was standing awkwardly at the end of the bed, hung a clipboard at the railings of the bed, and left the cubicle.

Sam strode with as little anger as she could to her next patient. This was why she and her mother did not get on: her callous little remarks, tossed casually into everyday conversations like rubbish into a bin, always deliberately trying to demean her. Tom grabbed her arm her way past him.  
"You okay?" he questioned.  
She nodded. "My mum's here," she said glumly.  
Tom was surprised. Sam didn't mention her parents often, and he didn't liked to ask about them.  
"I'll tell you later," she said, seeing his curiosity. She marched on, before Zoe stepped in front of her, blocking her path.  
"Sam, I've been meaning to ask you about... Actually, do you want to step into my office quickly?" asked Zoe.  
Sam could tell that she didn't have a choice, so she followed her to the office.  
"I wanted to ask you about maternity leave," Zoe said, closing the door behind her. "Have you spoken to Tom about it? Have you told anyone about this yet?"  
"Yeah, we've talked. I want to keep working as long as possible, so until I'm about thirty six or thirty seven weeks. I haven't told anyone yet, but I was going to at the end of the shift today."  
"Okay," Zoe scribbled something down. "Good, because it is getting a bit obvious now. You're what, four months?" Sam nodded. "Is everything okay so far?" Her work-stressed face softened.  
"Yes. It was placenta praevia, but they're not too worried about it, and I've stopped getting morning sickness and weird cravings."  
Zoe smiled. "I'd better let you get back to work." She opened the door for her, and then sat down at her desk.

Sam picked up her mother's X-ray results and took them to her cubicle.  
"Your wrist's not broken, just badly bruised. You need to rest it for about a week. Come back in if it begins to hurt any more," she announced.  
"So I can leave this ghastly place now?"  
"Thankfully," Sam muttered, opening the curtain.  
"Thank you, Samantha. Maybe you should try keeping in touch this time? I am your mother, after all." Before Sam could retaliate, Tom approached them.  
"Everything okay here?" he asked, assuming, correctly, that this was Sam's mother. Sam nodded, smiling gratefully at him over her shoulder as they continued towards reception.  
"Who was that?" her mother demanded.  
"That was Tom. He's my boyfriend," she added, in spite of herself.  
Her mother sniffed. "Seemed a bit pushy, if you ask me."  
"Well I didn't, did I?"  
"No, no, you're right, it's your choice. You know, Samantha, I am proud of you now, you seem to be a competent doctor. I'm pleased that you're finally doing something worthwhile. It's a pity you wasted so many years of your life, but I suppose it's what's happening now that counts."  
"Don't act like you care mum," her temper was flaring. "Because I don't care what you think about my life, I've done just fine. And you know what happened with Alex wasn't my fault. You know that, but you just need someone to blame." Sam's voice was rising with her anger, and she was shouting now. "As usual it was me. Well I don't need you in my life. I've got a good job, a great boyfriend - we're even having a baby!"  
Reception became utterly silent. Sam realised what she had said. She looked around. The reception area seemed to be the most full of doctors and nurses that it had been all day, not to mention patients. She swallowed, and fled to the staff room.

"I heard what happened," Tom said gently, shutting the door of the staff room behind him. He came to sit next to her on the sofa.  
"Does everybody know?" she asked.  
"I expect so. At least you didn't have to tell them outright though."  
She laughed bleakly. "Do you know what happened to Mum?"  
"I think she just left. Come here," he said, opening his arms. She fell willingly into his embrace, leaning her head against his shoulder. "Do you want to tell me about her?"  
She sighed. "I haven't really spoken to her since I decided to join the army."  
"Why not?"  
"She's very... Conventional. She doesn't really approve of me, in general. And she thinks I killed my brother."  
Tom was stunned. He knew she had killed a man in Afghanistan, but was there a second person whom she had not told him about? Her brother?  
"His name was Alex. He was quite a bit younger than me, always looked up to me, so when I joined the army, he did too. But was killed. He was shot. And Mum always loved him more than me, and she was adamant that it was my fault. So she stopped talking to me," Sam's voice was hard, Tom pulled back. He didn't know what to say.  
"Please, don't let this change anything. It was a long time ago, it's in the past, except it's not for Mum. Just one thing: don't ever try and make me talk to her; She doesn't want me around. Just forget I said anything."  
"Oh Sam," Tom kissed her forehead. "Of course it won't come between us. Do you want to talk about it now?"  
Sam shook her head. "Let's just get out of here." She stood up and gave him a hand to pull him up. Sam kept her head down as they walked through reception.  
"Thank God that's over," she said as they walked out of the doors of the ED.


End file.
